Timeless lesssons from once upon a yester-year

It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you
So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world
I can't stand this indecision
Married with a lack of vision
Everybody wants to rule the world

TEARS FOR FEARS - Everybody Wants To Rule The World Lyrics
Songs from the Big Chair

Waxing nostalgic

She's so young
She's got the answers
She doesn't need to question herself like I do
She's so young
She's got the answers
She doesn't need to question the world like I do
Like the wisdom of ages
Will flow from her tongue
This is the delusion of the young
She says she'll lead with her heart
But her heart really doesn't know at all
I'll get no satisfaction
Out of seeing her fall


Pursuit Of Happiness
She's So Young

progress for all the wrong reasons

I was greeted at the gym this morning by the, "crew". The "crew" are basically the early bird gym rats like myself that frequent the gym on a daily basis. I normally keep to myself but in a small place like the gym it's inevitable that you socialise with them.

Apparently, they've been noticing my progress and this day came over to visit me. In pack formation I was greeted by them. It was really an exercise in the mutual admiration society:

"Oh, John I could not help but notice that you've beefed up a bit eh?"

"It's great your working out your legs one leg at at time. Now they won't look so girlie"

And on and on tney went. However, I as I listened to them drone on and on, I felt a hollowness inside. It's all nice to look, "beefy" but the motivation behind these results are not genuine.

Despite the kudos received, these results are not the ones I want. Doing what I do, flailing the weights around, with the silly number of reps and sets is really a release, for the frustration that builds within me for not being able to run.

The sad thing is that, "this beefiness" is counterproductive, as I'm am gaining weight that does not provide any benefit to the sport itself.

I've smartened up though. I decided to shift the focus of the weights and primarily focus on legs.

I was able to run yesterday pain free, but in my mind I still run as if I'm running on eggshells, always concerned, never being able to truly run, care free.

Oh, my kingdom for one of those days...

Pilates

Having tried out yoga last Friday and Sunday, I decided to throw caution to the wind and try pilates this evening. There were only five of us today plus the teacher. I got all the movements wrong as I was focusing on flatening and lowering my tummy to the ground while breathing.

A lot of movements seemed like a modified crunch with the legs up in the air whilst flapping your arms rapidly mixed in with short quick breaths. I realised that I wasn't performing the movements properly when we were perfomring a move where lying on our back, we would bring out knees toward our torso and reaching out with our arms to form a craddle. We were then supposed to roll forward and backward. It felt as if my midsection was dead weight and I found myself drawing from other muscle groups to move myself.

I felt pretty tired afterward even though I didn't break a sweat. Overall not as physically demanding as power yoga but if I were to practise, I could benefit from it. Time will tell

Yoga Sunday

I decided to try yoga once again. Call it an endeavor in sadomasochism. I figured that this time, since I was already familiar with the moves from Friday, I'd be ready. Turns out that she changed the moves! Argh..

More sweat dripping whilst standing still.

I realise that my shouders are not really flexible. There is this one move whereby you draw your right arm over your head, bend your elbow and try to touch your shoulder blade whilst your left arm swings behind you and tries to grab the right hand. I'm able to make contact (barely) but fail miserably when I switch arms.

I subjected my body to variety of contortionist moves and and was able to survive. I realise that my hips and legs are more fleixible than I thought they were. I still need to work on balance and coordination.

I came to the realisation at the end of the workout that:

Power without control is meaningless.

And I'm feeling pretty meaningless right now.