October 17, 2004
Time: 9:00am
Place Toronto:
http://www.runtoronto.com/the_map.htmlhttp://www.runtoronto.com/the_map.html
Distance 42.2km
What I wore: Adidas Response run jacket. Nike Dri-fit long sleeve. NB run shorts, Manzella run gloves Wrightsocks, Asics Nimbus V.
What I ate: 2 containers of Neilson yogurt (peach and blueberry), two bananas
Temperature 5 degrees C and windy (intermittent gusts 15-25km/h)
Humidity: Initially dry but subsequently it began to rain
It's hard to believe even a week after the event that the memories are so vivid in my mind. I've ran my share of long run, week after week in training. To arbitrary choose one day to be more significant that all the others diminishes those long runs.
There is an aura about race day and despite a year of preparation, it felt as if it were not enough. What I found most difficult reconciling the fact that tapering necessary for optimum performance. Less is more I suppose but in life as in running, I've always worked down to the wire so when I had to cut back two weeks before race day, it was definitely a challenge.
I woke up at 4am to the sounds of a party going on in the apartment next door. People were chatting and cheering and singing to the songs played on the stereo. I had half a mind to go over and ask them to turn it down but decided against for two reasons: 1. I didn't want to waste my energy on these hooligans as I had to keep my eyes on the prize 2. The 80s mix was pretty good. In all fairness, as each song was playing it brought back a flood of memories of a time long ago. It raised my spirits and it was worth having slept two less. I finally rolled out of bed when they played my personal favorite by Tears for Fears, "Everybody wants to rule the world"
I finally rolled out of bed and proceeded to the kitchen. In standard fashion, I ate my yogurt and I was surprised. It tasted horrible. It wasn't spoiled; the fruit was on the bottom (I prefer mixed) and the flavour seemed to be artificial. Yuck, was the thought that came to mind. I forced myself to scarf both containers of yogurt as I knew I had a long day ahead of myself. Fortunately, the bananas tasted great.
I got dressed and was deciding on wearing my favorite Insight run tank. Looking out the window I saw the tree branches blowing in the wind so I decided to wear my Nike Drifit top that I had received for my b-day. Thanks KL. My only regret at this point was not having brought my run tights. I was hoping that it would get warmer when the sun rose.
I went upstairs to RF's room to check the weather on the 'net and my fears were confirmed. The clouds were looming low from yesterday and the winds had picked up speed since then. The chance of precipitation was 80% on the weathernetwork. I was discouraged and decided to go for a second opinion at Environment Canada. No reprieve was to be found.
At 6:50am I headed downstairs to meet up with the cab that I had booked the previous evening. As soon as I opened the door. I was greeted by a strong gust of wind. I could feel my shoulders shrugging my toes curling up into a a tiny ball and a uncontrollable shivers wracked my body. Not a good omen I thought to myself and then, "where the heck is that darn cab." A street cleaner wielding a broom fully dressed in warm layers looked at me as if I was insane. He then noticed the marathon runner bib I had pinned on my jacket and that confirmed that I was definitely certifiable. After 15 min of waiting at the curb in my short shorts subjecting myself to the elements and looking like a hooker. I decided to hail a cab that was approaching from the opposite direction. It's amazing what these cabbies will do for a fare. That cab came to a screeching halt the moment I raised my hand to flag him and he made a nice U turn on Queen.
It was a long ride to Mel Lastman sqaure. Roads were blocked so we had to find an alternate route to get there. We drove around the main roads. I believe we went up Avenue Road and somehow ended up going around a residential neighborhood in North York. We finally arrive on Yonge and I saw scores of runners headed toward the square. Cones were placed everywhere indicating where cars were permitted to go.
I paid the fare (close to $30) and proceeded to head up toward the McD's where I was to meet TF and Sue and Turtleboy. That was the longest walk that had to endure. With buildings on either side of the street (one taller than the other), it magnified the strength of the winds that were blowing. I felt the effect of the humidity in the air as I could feel the numbing effect of the cold manifesting as each breeze cut through my layers like a hot knife through butter.
I pasted by a stage where runners dressed in garbage back dropped off their bags. I didn't bring a change of clothes as I was under the impression that it would be warmer when I completed and I would headed by back RF's place. That would be prove to be a costly mistake.
Finding the McD's was not that hard; granted, I had to walk about a good 10 minutes in the cold before arriving but I was following the other group of runners who wanted to protect themselves from the elements, get something to eat/drink and most importantly use the washroom.
I arrived there with five minutes to spare. Seeing the other runners lining up to use the washrooms, I decided to follow suit as well. While waiting I could not help but to notice the latest fashions sported by the runners: Glad garbage bags, Dollarama garbage bags... In all fairness, what I found amusing is when I go shopping I try to purchase items that are stylish but not the current trend. I put effort and go to great lengths in product selection in the hopes of remaining stylish but not too mainstream. Part of the, "stealth wealth" philosophy I subscribe to. What I found amusing that standing in line, practically every other runner (through their transparent garbage bags) was wearing the same brand as I was. So much for that I guess.
Toronto folks are such a strange lot. The line up to the washroom was solemn-like, almost a vigil with no one talking. My goodness, I realise that people need to use the facilities but surely they did not need to focus all of their mentally energy to keep their bladder from exploding. I began chatting with a few runners and discovered that each one had their motivation to run. Being it fund raising for, "Joints in motion" or just for personal time. It was refreshing to hear about other peoples' motivation. The person ahead of me in line had run Boston earlier in the year and I was in awe as he narrated his story to me. The memory of that race despite being 6 months ago was so vivid down to the last detail. Although he was in a sea of over 10,000 other runners, he remembered every, the sights, sounds and even the odours.
My mobile rang at that moment and it was Turtleboy. He had come out to send me off. I informed him of my location and he summarily headed over. He was smart, he was dressed in his Columbia coat and I could see the fleece lining underneath. We chatted for a moment and finally the line let up and was finally able to use the facilities.
When I returned Ken was there along with TF and Sue. Both of the girls were covered head to toe in black. Sporting a base and a shell both girls were ready to do battle. The girls had to head off to drop their bags at baggage check. Sue's race was beginning in 15min. When we left the shelter of the McD I felt the arctic chill of the wind blowing at me. I wrapped an emergency blanket around my waist to keep my legs warm. Granted I looked silly but then again the when you're sporting a garbage bag dress, that's the pot calling the kettle black.
The gusts of wind were so strong that I found myself pulling a Marilyn Monroe in "Some like it hot" The famous picture of her in the white dress and she place both of her hands over her dress between her legs to keep it from blowing up. Quite embarassing really as Turtleboy would circle around me to bring what went up back down.
We went from building to building leading up to the start line. The girls were standing in an open area psyching themselves up. An annoucement was made over the bullhorn and everyone who was hiding inside approached the start line. We followed suit as Sue was the first of us to race. We stood at the sidelines observing people. Sue had disappeared into the crowd, she wasn't being shy or anti-social by running away from us, I'm sure it to seek warmth from the pack. It was hard to believe that tragedy would befall her race.
There were about 6000 runners who participated in the half marathon. It was so nice to see such a great turn out despite the cold weather and strong winds. If only we could have such an attendance in Montreal. I was trying to imagine what the attendance would have been like had the weather been more cooperative. It took several minutes for the entire group of runners to cross the start line. I can still remember the roar of the crowd when the horn sounded. It was only a matter of time before we started.
TF, Turtleboy and myself proceeded back into the attrium of a large office building that was kind enough to be open early Sunday morning to accommodate the runners. Inside, runners of all stripes were there stretching, running and chatting amongst each other. I took a moment to wax nostalgic with them and it's hard to believe that after all the preparation that it all boiled down to this day. For us in that building, it did not matter that it was cold, and windy outside, any thought of not running was quashed when we saw everyone else roaring to go.
Our conversation turned to previous races that we had run together. Turtleboy had announced his retirement from the sport...for now. Commitments and his compartment syndrome were the reasons behind his decision.
I found myself with each passing moment as the race drew closer becoming infused with a source of energy that I could not identify. I became lively, more energetic and found myself bouncing up and down. I used that energy to prepare myself and every part of my body was concerned as I was wasting energy needlessly. This energy could and should have been devoted to the race. I was not able to contain my enthusiasm. I didn't hear the horn summoning the runners to the start line but we all headed out together in instinctive fashion. At that point all that pent up energy had dissipated and the evocative expression on my face drained away and was replaced by a stoic visage. The ambient noise from the surrounding runners became muffled and I remember my eyes trying to focus. I remember this moment clearly as there was nothing for my eyes to fixate themselves on.
I removed the emergency blanket that I had used as a makeshift skirt and handed it to Turtleboy. We sent our regards to each other and he informed me that he'd be at the finish line to see my finish. TF and I wandered into the crowd and exchanged words of encouragement and support. She was aware of my time goal and the special someone to whom I dedicated this race.
With a just a few moments before the started TF drew my attention to the side. Turtleboy was standing on a platform waving to us. My gameface dropped as I began jumping up and down and waving. I could hear his chants of, "sub-four...sub-four".
The gun sounded and we all took a quick step forward only to stop dead in our tracks. Apparently there was so much space between each runner that the first step bunched us all together as every one was stepping on the carpets to ensure their time was being recorded.
The run slowly resumed as everyone crossed the starting line. I turned over to TF and smiled. "This is it, I thought to myself." No more romanticizing over what it would be like, no more delusions of grandeur of the time that I would cross in. This was it, the moment of a countless run sessions have amounted to. In all fairness, I approached each step I made with trepidation. Just as I stepped on the carpet twice (to make sure my chip was activated) and started my Garmin, my mind went blank.
The pack that I started with started really slowly. I am fortunate that I stuck with TF as I had the, "urge to surge" early. I saw several runners weave past the runners in a slalom like fashion. Fortunately, I was able to resist such temptation. TF and I played a game of leapfrog as we encounter heavy human traffic. Liken to a traffic jam she and I stayed in our respective lanes and at some moments she would surpass me only to have her advantage negated as she would come across slower traffic ahead when my lane opened.
As we were running down Yonge, TF darted to the side to greet a friend of hers. We slowed down a touch as her friend was there as a show of support. I was happy for TF having her friend there for support. I was fortunate enough to have Turtleboy come out and everyone should be able to enjoy a morale boost. Her friend had ran the Chicago marathon two weeks earlier. There were 33,000 runners who had participated in the marathon alone. If you were to factor in the other races, it would have easily exceeded the reported 40,000 figure I heard. Unbelievable. Her friend reported that the weather was terrific for the run. "Oh well, some days you get the bear, other day the bear gets you." I thought to myself when I heard that.
TF said farewell to her friend as we resumed our long trek ahead of us. She urged me to go ahead and make my time. I looked back at her and said told her that I'd be around . The game of cat and mouse went on for about two kilometers. At that point the field began to spread apart.
The air was crisp and a cold intermittent breeze hit us head on as we ran westward on Sheppard. People were cheering and waving at us. I felt bad for not having waved to them like I did during the Montreal half but I need to focus. I remember Dorys' strategy that he sent to me the day before my race. Basically boils down as follows:
1st 8km Concentration
2nd 8km Focus
3rd 8km Work
4th 8km Will power
5th 8km Eagerness
2.195km Exhilaration
Each stage builds upon another and any errors made earlier on will be magnified in the later stages. Summoning the mental energy to prevent myself from wasting energy by weaving, waving or even chatting amongst the runners was extremely taxing. In all fairness looking back, the first stage is by far the hardest.
At that point I leaped frogged ahead of TF and never looked back.
There was a tiny hill ahead when the winds picked up. I needed to conserve energy and if the winds were already this strong so early, things were bound to get worse. I could see several runners fastening their ball caps on their head making sure that a sudden gust doesn't take it away. I secured mine in a similar fashion. As the crowd spread out I decided to act on the best strategy at the time to save energy and save my ball cap. I decided to draft.
Draft was an interesting strategy. I would find myself about two to five feet behind a runner, using them as a wind breaker. On balance big white guys were the preferred targets. Occasionally a large woman would suffice as well. The larger they were, they better. Determining the appropriate distance was an art, it took several victims to establish the proper distance. Mind you I was sneaky enough never to have been caught but find yourself too close behind someone is foolish, if not perilous.
There was always the possibility that the runner ahead of me could abruptly stop resulting in a collision, but that was highly unlikely. I could tell when people are slowing down (they could not have ran any slower than I was). There were a fair share of, "10 and 1" runners, who's, "one" minute could have arrived when I found myself behind them but I was fortunate that moment never arose. What scared me when I found myself too close was not being able to see any deformations in the road or any detritus that may be floating there. I had decided to place myself further behind, slightly exposing myself to the sporadic gusts of wind but with still providing myself with enough time to avoid any events that could lead to my downfall.
As we ran north on Dufferin, I discovered a runner that could have been greatest downfall. She was a cute asian runner running beside my in a navy blue ball cap sporting pig tails. Tiny little nymph, about my height. She was really bubbly and she ran with her girlfriend. She and I leap frogged each other. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. In all fairness, I was expecting to see more asians running so I was definitely surprised when I found myself in the minority in Toronto of all places. She was running about a good 20-30 seconds faster than I was per km. According to my Garmin, at that point, I was running a 5:30-5:40 min/km pace. I would surpass her at the water station and she would surpass me at the midpoint between waterstations.
At that point (km 7-10), my body had finally warmed up. My breathing, my stride, my arm movements were all in synch. The weather was cold so I did not find myself reaching for my water bottle as often as I thought I would. This troubled me so I forced myself at every water station to grab water. Looking back, I was so proud of myself for the way in which I arrived at the water station, I would make eye contact with the volunteer about 10 feet away, I would point at that person and lock eyes with him/her to ensure that cup was reserved for me and when I grabbed the cup of water, I would, in a simultaneous fashion, nod my head in appreciation, pinch the top of the conic cup and drink. I was so relieved that they did not give us full water bottles and elated that there were no bottle caps strewn all over the road as I had experienced in other races. I never stopped for walk break at a water station. Not that I was too good to do so but I find it incredibly hard to stop and resume. Once the momentum has been broken, I find it next to impossible to restore it.
They were offering a sports drink called, "Ultima" Like Gatorade, it's an electrolyte replacement. I chose not to take any because I never used it previously and did not know how it would affect my body and secondly, TF told me that the drink was wretched.
The winds I encountered on Steeles were really terrible. Despite my attempts at drafting the winds shifted directions rendering my strategy useless. I even tried running to the immediate left of a runner when the winds were blowing from the right, It worked for a moment and then the winds shifted direction again.
What I found amusing when I was running on Steeles were all the cars that were honking at us. It would have been nice if it was in support but it was in frustration. One particular moment that stands out in my mind is near a Canadian Tire. There was a mall to my left and to my right, the mall that the Canadian Tire was located in. Countless number of cars were literally parked in the turning lane, signal lights blinking honking incessantly. As I passed by I overheard a traffic cop hollering to some, "Gino" in a Camaro with his gold cross hanging out of his shirt to stop hollering because there was nothing he or anyone else could do. I know it sounds petty of me to say but, it felt great to own the road for one day. It felt great for me. A visitor from out of town and they block the roads for me.
Little ploys like that served as positive distractions to continue that state of running when the initial excitement fades and you know you have a long road ahead of you. Those moments served to humble me and keep me in check. I reminded myself that I am fortunate to have the time and health to prepare for this race whilst others are bed ridden in a hospital bed puts things in perspective. Little did I know how true that was until I learned about the tragedy that befell the race.
It was nice being able to run 5:30s for the majority of the first half. It was a reasonable pace. My plan was to run 5:40s for the first half, but I felt fine and the quicker pace was not a strain. As we approached the half marathon mark, we descended a steep hill (I overheard other runners referring to it as Hogs' Hollow) only to climb it. It was a long steep climb that test the mettle of even the strongest of runners. I met two fellows, one in his 50s and the other in his late 40s. Both of them were sporting garbage bags. I had used this strategy in a previous race and the idea behind that was to shed the bags when the runner is warmed up. The rain had fallen at a steady pace and it was chilly.
The rain steadily feel as I continued down Yonge, I could see the fans cheering and much to my surprise they were calling me by name to offer their encouragement. Parents would be shouting, "Good job John! You're on your way!" I'd smile and push ahead. Little children would clap and extend their hand for a slap of support. I ran toward one of them and he slapped my hand. At that point I realised how tired I was as my pace slowed in dramatic fashion.
The girl had taken off on me and I was keeping pace with my newfound buddies. We descended the steep hill only to find that we had to climb out from the other side. I saw the older fellow turn to the younger and said, "This is where we separate the men from the boys." We all headed up the hill with myself behind them. Our pace did not change. We passed many others who had slowed down and 3/4 of the way to the top. We acted true to his word. The two fellows took off as I slowed down. Grr...
The ascent had drained me physically. Emotionally I was fine. However my ego was bruised as I thought I had done enough hill training in Outremont. Fatigue radiated from every part of my body. My pace had slowed to 6:48/km.
At the top, I slowed down for a sip of water and I passed by the girl. Her previously bubbly demeanor was replaced by fatigue. She had stopped to walk. I was expecting to continue our game of leap frog. However this was the last that I was to see of her.
I recovered and realised that the race now officially begun for me. Completion of the first half was not an issue. The second half was the most important. I had paid a price for the quick ascent of the hill there was no room for error if I was to make my time.
I was able to run at my previous pace up until Casa Loma which was the 30km mark. The area was marked by a long gradual uphill which drained me of energy. I forced myself to maintain my current pace. The effort exerted for that pace had skyrocketed. At that point, I saw the, "wall" coming toward me.
The 32km mark was marked by an inflatable wall float that runners passed through. It had a brick design, which made me laugh. I did not recognise what it was as my thoughts were erratic. I must admit, I was not lucid at that point. My mind felt really slow.
I was still able to forge ahead on the momentum that I had established. At that point we began the twisty downhill path along Rosedale Valley Road. That provided me with time for an active recovery. However upon hitting the 35km mark on Bayview, things began to break down. My form, stride and pace were decomposing in a sad fashion. I was forced to take my first of three walk breaks. Frustration and anger had set in. I forced myself to continue at at the same pace which proved to exacerbate matters further. When we hit arrived at on Lakeshore running underneath the expressway above us. I experienced calf pain in my left leg. It was a tightness that I could not walk off. My second walk break last 2-3minutes. Runners that I had passed earlier on were now returning the favor. My heart rate had skyrocketed as I could feel my heart in my throat. The amount of effort exerted to maintain my pace was rising at an exponential rate.
I finally made it out of Lakeshore and passed York but at that point I was greeted my muscle failure from my legs. I found myself walking another 2-3 minutes on University. I spirits rose as I saw city hall in the distance and several runners who bearing their medals on their chest as they were doubling back along the path. I remember them shouting words of encouragement to me telling me that the end is near. "Ha ha, I thought to myself"
At that moment I took a look at my watch and realised that I still had time to make my time of 4:00:00. I had about 15 minutes to run 2.2km. At that moment I somehow found the inspiration to summon all the courage I had, marshall all my reserves and despite the fatigue and the calf pain made a mad dash to the finish. I was able to run: 4:39, 3:14 and 4:32 for the last 853m (running underneath the expressway, I lost signal with the gps) I could not believe that I was able to run such a pace. As I ran around the city hall toward the finish area. My pace began to slow down I was finished and I had made my time. However I saw a friendly face that I had forgotten about. There was Turtleboy standing behind the security railing at the outer edge waiting for me. He eagerly awaiting my arriving as I saw him scanning into the field of runners rushing in. When he saw my familiar face he immediately jumped into air and cheered for me. He commanded me to run faster as he ran along side on the other side of the barrier. I was able to make one final rush toward the finish was able to do so in a time of 3:58:40.
As I crossed the line, Turtleboy told me that he would meet me at the end of the exit chute. My feeling of euphoria was fleeting as it was replaced by a sense of helplessness as fatigue completed overwhelmed my body. Having immediately stopped, I was fully concentrating on not keeling over. Fatigue and muscle soreness devoured my body. Following the removal of the championchip from my shoe, I literally stumbled toward the exit of the chute where I was handed my medal. The volunteers did not remove them from the plastic bag that they were in. I took my in hand and tried to open it. Turtleboy was standing there, witnessing this special moment. However I was too feeble to remove the medal from the sealed plastic bag. In a moment of frustration, I placed the plastic bag in my mouth and tried to rip it open like I would a, "Mr. Freeze" That attempt was to no avail. Turtleboy took pity on my poor sould and removed the medal from the plastic bag and placed the medal around my neck.
The muscle soreness was exacerbated by the cold temperature. Now that I had stopped running, I could feel the stiffness in my sore legs. I grabbed two emergency blankets and covered myself in them. I wore the first like a shawl and the other like a sarong. I hobbled around looking for the food tent. Turtleboy lead me to the tent as we proceeded slowly.
I was able to obtain snacks from the tent along with fruits and drinks. As I stumbled back toward the exit chute to meet TF. I was beginning to suffer from hypothermia. My speech was slurred. and my shivering had stopped. I ask Turtleboy for my mobile. I gave my word to Eve that I would call her when I crossed the finish line. I did not realise how cold it was. I thought there weather would have warmed up when I crossed. I dialed her number and the exchange was terse:
"Hey... how are you?' in laboured voice
"Fine"
"I made it...got...my...time.. sub... 4"
"What's wrong with you?" in a concerned voice.
"Cold... tired"
"Did you change into something warmer"
"no... didn't know it would be this cold. I'm wearing a emergency blanket shawl and sarong...."
Eve then scolded me for being a nutbar and not having brought warm clothing.
"Get changed! Call me back later."
"uhm... okay" *click*
Gee, thanks for the memories :)
We found our way back to the exit chute and I saw TF in the exit chute. Sue was there as well. We congradulated each other and the TF proceeded to head out of the chute. That proved to be the last time we would see each other. Turtleboy mentionned to me that RF was on his way down to meet me. He had just returned from a business trip. So it was just a matter of time before they arrived.
At that time, I tried to stretch but the soreness and the cold temperature made it too difficult to do so. I ended up walking around looking for the girls to no avail with Turtleboy. Instead we learned from a spectator on his bicycle about the tragedy that befell the race. Apparently a 43 year old man had suffered a heart attack 1 km from the finish which proved to be fatal.
The longer I waited out outside the worse I felt. I remember my speech being slurred and at moments sounding incoherent. Turtleboy led me to the first aid tent to seek refuge while he went looking for RF and the girls.
In the first aid tent, I saw met many other runners who had suffered from hypothermia and exhaustion. One woman who was led in shortly after myself cam in wearing a hat, gloves and winter jacket. However she looked completely "out of it" and when I looked into her eyes, it appeared like, "the light was on, but no one was home."
Turtleboy returned afterward and informed me that he did not see anyone. At that point it was 1pm and I had a 5pm train to catch heading back home. I needed to get back to RF's place, shower, stretch, pack, grab lunch and head over to the train station in time. Turtleboy lead me down University Ave where I saw several marathon finishers approaching. That sight warmed my heart but did not dull the pain that I was feeling from my legs. Each step was difficult to say the least. We were near the Princess Margaret hospital where we finally were able to find a taxi. We said goodbye to each other as I hopped into the cab and proceeded to head back to RF's place.
Final notes:
Results: http://www.sportstats.ca/res2004/torma.htm
Thanks to JW (not me) for letting me crash out at his place on Sat.
Thanks to RF for letting me crash out at his place. More importantly thanks for carry my back to the train station as I just barely made it on before the train left.
Thanks to Turtleboy for being there. You'll always be a winner in my books.
Thanks to Eve for believing. More importantly for knocking some sense into my head. What the heck was I thinking not having brought a warm change of clothes.
Thanks to all my friends back home who believed and had to put up with my obsession in the weeks preceding the race.
As for the girl, she completed in 4:09:10. See you around Virginia
Injuries. It is my one month anniversary since the race and the injuries included: left shin, right knee. Both issues are currently being treated with physiotherapy.
What now? I don't think I'll be running any marathons in 2006. I'll throw my name in the lottery for the nyc marathon. However in all fairness, my next one will be in January 2006- in Orlando
http://dwws.disney.go.com/wideworldofsports/sportingevents/sportingeventgroupingindex?id=SPORMarathonHomePageSporEvGrping
See you then!
Thanks for reading.
JW
