progress for all the wrong reasons

I was greeted at the gym this morning by the, "crew". The "crew" are basically the early bird gym rats like myself that frequent the gym on a daily basis. I normally keep to myself but in a small place like the gym it's inevitable that you socialise with them.

Apparently, they've been noticing my progress and this day came over to visit me. In pack formation I was greeted by them. It was really an exercise in the mutual admiration society:

"Oh, John I could not help but notice that you've beefed up a bit eh?"

"It's great your working out your legs one leg at at time. Now they won't look so girlie"

And on and on tney went. However, I as I listened to them drone on and on, I felt a hollowness inside. It's all nice to look, "beefy" but the motivation behind these results are not genuine.

Despite the kudos received, these results are not the ones I want. Doing what I do, flailing the weights around, with the silly number of reps and sets is really a release, for the frustration that builds within me for not being able to run.

The sad thing is that, "this beefiness" is counterproductive, as I'm am gaining weight that does not provide any benefit to the sport itself.

I've smartened up though. I decided to shift the focus of the weights and primarily focus on legs.

I was able to run yesterday pain free, but in my mind I still run as if I'm running on eggshells, always concerned, never being able to truly run, care free.

Oh, my kingdom for one of those days...